Victim Mentality

I went to visit a friend this week. He used to live in a nice one bedroom house on the Reserve. He has several debilitating illnesses, like lupis, diabeties, and fibremialgia. He moved from the new one level home to a little old house in the run down side of town. Why move? Well, he wanted to have a dog and the other residence prohibitted that.
I sat down at the kitchen table to talk. The place was dirty, there were gaps between the single pane window glass and the wooden frame where the caulking used to be. A kitten brushed up against my leg, looking for attention. On the table was an openned package of oreo type cookies. The sugar bowl was close by and the coffee maker was still hot. Oreo type cookies, sugar, and coffee are enemies of people with diabeties. My friend sat on the edge of the chair, with a thick tongue pressing through the toothless mouth to wet his lips. The many medications he takes leaves his mouth dry.
With a frown, he said that he is thinking of taking the government to court. "I was put into foster homes which abused me, and I think I'll sue the government over that", he said. Recently, many of the older Native people, who had gone through the residential school system received money as compensation for the suffering they experienced. I think my friend, who didn't qualify for the residnectial school compensation, was looking for free money somewhere.
He told me that the new house cost more than the old one he moved from. He said he was having a hard time making ends meet. I knew he was indirectly asking for a hand out. Then, I looked around and noticed not one dog, but two. I asked about the puppy. It is a large breed. He says that he has a hard time finding the money to pay the bills, but he has two dogs and a cat to feed.
His indirect request for money was falling on deaf ears. I have to budget my finances to meet my obligations. From his point of view, he doens't have to. He is a victim of the entitlement mentality. He is entitled to do as he pleases, and it is always somebody elses responsibility for his problems.
I knew him before his diabeties got bad. He could have managed it with a diet, but he wouldn't do it. He liked mounds of mashed potatoes, coffee, sugar, and sweets...lots of sweets. When the doctor warned him that he was going to type three diabeties, and would have to inject insulin every day, my friend got mad. The doctor was viewed as a jerk for saying such things. In my friends eyes, he should be able to do as he pleases, and the duty of medicine is to give him a pill for anything that ails him.
The doctor prescribed excersize and a diet. That was scoffed at. An obese person excersize? Not hardly, it is somebody elses problem to solve. His car is not working. I thought of giving my old Chevy Suburban to him, but then realized that would not work. He is so fat that he couldn't be able to climb into the vehicle...not to mention not be able to afford the gas.
I placed two books on the table and offered them as a gift. They were about the journey of forgiveness. The people featured in the books lived through horrible abuse and learned the freedom of forgiveness. I even had the author personally sign the books. My friend received them graciously, but I doubted that they would be read. Forgiveness might be exactly what he needs to practice, but you don't get free money by letting others off the hook. So, there he sat, physically, mentally, and spiritually miserable, and I knew there was nothing I could do about it, except pray.
I have tried to lead my friend on a journey of healing for five years. He wouldn't even make small efforts for personal responsibility. He will lean on his grown kids for money, beg from friends, and if possible sue the government. All the while, the lupis, diabeties, and fibremialgia are getting worse.
A victim mentality is a horrible thing to have. Add the entitlement mentality, and it is a death warrant. Self destruction is the only consequence. But, I'll keep praying, and trying to encourage change. Who knows but maybe God will do a miracle of bringing revelation to my friend?