Motivation Blue

It is a beautiful day. The sun is shining brightly and by all normal reason, I should have been out there at dawn, looking for a mule deer. I could share the meat with the elders on the reservation, use the skin for a hand drum, and the antlers for tools. I went out for an evening hunt a couple of days ago, but didn't see anything. So, why didn't I go out looking this morning?

For almost a year, we have been planning for a ministry team from a church back east. It began with a two person visit from the church, to see what ministry is like here in the Shuswap. Those two went back to recruit several more for the first team outing which was to begin today. I used the past tense "was" for a reason. They aren't coming after all.

It seems that the devil really didn't want this team trip to occur. He stirred up strife between a key person heading up the trip, a Native person from a tribe in Wisconsin, and the church liaison missions coordinator. The church missions coordinator didn't follow the Biblical mandate to "go to the other person and discuss the problem." No, she went to the pastor of the church and talked about it. Did the pastor do the right thing? No, he went for the office politics management plan. He didn't bring the two people together as a peace maker, he acted in an un-Biblical way, and favoring his missions coordinator, made the arbitrary command decision to exclude the Native person from the missions trip! How stupid is this!!

It is just like the past ill treatment the white man has forced on the Native resident. The white man determines that since the Indian didn't use the land properly, as in farming, then he had the right to take it from the Indian. God would even be pleased with him for doing so, and showing the ignorant Indian how to do things right. The white man made the terms for the treaties, and honored them when if it suited him. Autocratic top-down management policies from the beginning.
In this case, the pastor doesn't even care enough to get the other side of the story from the Native leader for the missions trip. He trampled on her feelings and dignity when he threw her off the missions team. To add to the stupidity, he imagined that the rest of the team were going to come out to do ministry to the Shuswap People! Think again, head pastor. If the team doesn't value reconciliation, and value unity in their own church context, do you really imagine that they are in a place that they could do ministry elsewhere? I wouldn't let him or his little missions team anywhere near my Shuswap friends. If they can't value unity, which the Lord Jesus prayed for us, and if they have trampled the ministry of reconciliation given to all believers, then they ought to stay home until they do. That is what we told them. We cancelled the missions trip from this end.

On a different thought, I have spent several days getting ready for a berry picking trip up the mountains with an elder couple. We talked about this trip for months. It is quite a substantial demonstration of trust with this couple, that they are willing to include us in this part of their culture. They asked me to fix an old door in their house. They even told me where the hidden key is to the house so I could go in on repairs if I needed to do so.
I took the truck into the mechanic for a check up this week. I wanted to do what I might to eliminate the likely hood of a mechanical breakdown way up the mountain with two elderly people. I got the chairs loaded, the little butane cook stove so we could have coffee on the top of the mountain. I was well on the way to being ready for the trip, and then the phone call.

"I am sorry, but we can't go on the trip tomorrow," they said. An urgent family matter had risen and they were needed elsewhere. So, another disappointment came crashing in.

I was up at 5:30am, and thought about going hunting, which I usually love to do; but I just went back to bed. I was hunting a couple of days ago and didn't see anything. I felt like my motivation was at level "blue", not too good, I am afraid. I didn't think it was worth the risk to face another disappointment if a hunting trip didn't at least reveal some animals. I have had too many gut punches in a row to set myself up for another.

Jannie encouraged me at breakfast. She reminded me that we have some successes, too. We have two new Bible studies with Native friends, I have more trust with the elder couple, and I was asked to join an all Native bowling league this week. These are good things and that is what I will thank God for during the day. I expect my motivation level will likely move from "blue" to "hopeful" and finally to "confident" as I pray and reflect on God's blessings.